Have you be been making positive changes in your life? Maybe you have completed your degree, received a promotion at work or eliminated some bad habit like eating fast food. You know you want a better life for yourself and you have developed some good habits to move you in that direction, but what you did not expect is how uncomfortable you would begin to feel in old, familiar relationships. You know, the ones that stay exactly the same no matter how many years go by? You weren’t told about the increased sense of isolation and loneliness you would feel when you attempted to go “back” to old places with familiar faces.
The problem is your mindset is changing but you are attempting to hang out with people who haven’t changed and have no interest in changing. One of the hardest things about growing and evolving is letting go of the things and people who no longer serve your highest good. It can feel like a betrayal to move on without people who have been a part of your life for a long time.
When you begin to take responsibility for life, you take action to solve your problems rather than sitting around complaining about them; your desire to succeed supersedes your fear of failure and you are willing to try new things; you separate yourself from the crowd by deciding what you want to create in your life rather than letting life decide what you will have. As you become more willing to live an empowered life, many people will have to exit your life, and it is usually the people who are not interested in paying the price to have a better life. It is uncomfortable and heartbreaking at times, especially when this calls for separation from some family members. It can feel like your world is being ripped apart—it is—because of the exposure to new ways of being in the world. Your beliefs have changed or expanded, so it will be impossible to find comfort with people from your past who maintain the same set of limited beliefs from back-in-the-day that you now know are not true. And it is not just you: the people from your past will often be uncomfortable around you because your presence serves as a reminder to them that what they believe to be true is inaccurate. The bottom line is no one wants to be proved wrong about what they believe is possible because then there are no more excuses; it creates a situation where they are forced to get real with themselves about what they are not doing in their own life to improve their circumstances. This is not exactly comforting and welcoming, so don’t expect a warm reception.
Do not—I repeat—do not attempt to return to old relationships with the hopes of finding comfort or being warmly embraced by those who have the same mentality they had 10 years ago. At times, growth does require pain, and you will experience loneliness as you let go of what once was true to embrace the new, improved person you will become. Even if you can’t see it now, the initial sense of isolation and loneliness on the journey to empowerment will pass. You will find new people who align with your expanded beliefs about the world and your place in it.