Missed opportunities. Disappointment. Inertia. Do you find yourself talking about what could’ve, should’ve or would’ve been? Are you a master at denying what you really want as a way to avoid that lingering, always present, truth in your heart?
I realize it can be hard to follow your truth, especially when you find yourself in a situation that contradicts what you are feeling at a gut level. It is also easier to complain and blame everyone else for your predicament rather than admitting you have played an active role in creating your current situation. It’s too heavy, right?
But seriously, when is the last time you asked yourself: Am I living my truth? If not, what can I change in my life to be in alignment with my truth?
Refusing to live my truth has caused me great pain; it has depleted my spirit and shown in my eyes as a vacancy—an infinite, hollow, abyss of nothingness. A nothingness I actively participated in and carried around like a badge of honor; to the outside world, I appeared productive, responsible, and generally on top of things. I liked the approval I received from meeting external expectations. It appeared to be all good, but for whom?
That was the question I forgot to ask; in fact, it was and is the most important question because it forces you to check out of denial for a minute and get real. It forced me to acknowledge that inner truth I have known all along about what I want to do and where I want to be. We all know; but the question is, will you answer the call? Will you continue to dilly-dally around with people and situations you don’t like but chose to tolerate because you have told yourself it is what you must do? Again, the more important question becomes, according to whom?
One thing that puzzles me about people (myself included) is how quickly we decide it is impossible to have what we really want and yet in the next breath we praise God or the Universe as the creator of everything. Why do we pay so much lip service to the idea of all things being possible with God but fail to actually apply it when it comes to believing we can have what we really want?
What if we turned this way of thinking upside down and started from a place of possibility? Let’s think of God as energy; a source of energy that Julia Cameron calls Good Orderly Direction. From this space, doesn’t it seem plausible that the longings in your heart would not be there if you were not capable of attaining them in the first place? How different would your world be if you let go of your self-doubts and opted to start acting from a place of belief in yourself and your truth?
Don’t you think the price is too high to pay to not live your truth? No matter how tempting the external rewards may be, the success, peace, joy, and fulfillment you seek starts from within; have the courage to say yes to your truth. You are all you got.